And bite our tongues when we do not.  I have to admit, I’ve struggled most over the last few years with curbing my tongue when I have a critical thought. In my head, I see it as trying to making something (or someone) better (including myself!), and I always went out of my way to put it nicely, but it took me a long time to realize that sometimes it really is better to just bite the words in half and swallow them. Too often I see the negative before the positive, and it takes a lot of self-discipline to work out of that. It’s not about being a pessimist but of having a world view that anything can be better.

But, because I struggle to improve myself, that doesn’t mean I have to broadcast every criticism to others. Not unless its’ a request or I fear someone may come to physical or mental harm if I don’t speak up.

We used to talk a lot about this in Ruhi (my Austin Baha’i study group), and it seems too common to want to open our mouths “for someone’s own good” because we also teach truth and honesty, but what is one person’s ideal isn’t always another’s. The motivation to improve as a person must come from within, it cannot be forced. To force someone down a path is to shut it off from them entirely. Unasked for criticism breeds doubt, resentment, and a closed heart, even where it is not intended. But praise where it is earned, love and encouragement makes the heart blossom forth and bloom, nurturing a sweet scent for others to follow.